Happy first birthday to my beautiful baby girl! I cannot help but imagine what you would be like if you were here today. I imagine you toddling around, chasing after Ella, giggling and showing off a few new teeth.
I am so happy for you that you are spending this birthday and all of your birthdays to come with Jesus! You are so blessed to have never known any of the pain, sadness, or sickness of this world. You left this world safe and warm and loved, tucked inside my womb.
For me though, I am sad that you aren't here! Today started out rough for me. I couldn't sleep and so I got up at 5am and sat on the porch awaiting the sunrise. My tears streamed silently for you. Later my sobs became uncontrollable and gut wrenching. I am so HURT that you are gone. I feel an emptiness inside of my heart where you should be.
When Ella woke up I was reminded that we had plans to celebrate you today, Daisy, not mourn you. We went to the cemetery and Ella gave you a very cute heart shaped wreath with some beautiful roses and a teddy bear attached. She is so proud to be your big sister, even though you're not here with us. She loves you and misses you so much! Daddy and I gave you some pink daisies and some birthday balloons. We are so blessed to be your parents. We came home and made you a cake and some homemade ice cream. All three of us pitched in.
We wish so badly that you could be here to have cake with us. I wish I was throwing you a big birthday bash! We would have had so much fun. No matter how hard I try to make this day special and happy, it has a sad undertone and it always will.
I love you, Daisy, and I am excited to hug you and squeeze you one day in heaven!
Love, Mommy
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