A deep longing...

Ohhhh how I wish I had my baby to snuggle right now.

There is beauty in journaling

My whole life I have wanted to be a writer. I'll be honest though that I've never actually pursued it as a career. I feel like blogging is my way of pretending I'm an actual writer. It's easy to pretend you're a writer when you blog because other people actually READ it! Ok so not that many people but still...

Anyway, I've never had more to write about than I do now but instead of putting my fingers to the keyboard, I've been putting pen to paper. Old fashioned...I know, but also PRIVATE. I've toyed with the idea of sharing this tragedy that I've been trying to navigate through with others in hopes of helping someone or just having my words read and felt by someone else. I'm not sure if I'll ever share these feelings. They are so raw and I feel so vulnerable. I'm not sure if I ever want people to see through my happy voice and smiling face. Although I am not against sharing the FACTS of my experience, for now, I will not be sharing my innermost thoughts and feelings.

Cucumber water-life saver!

I have been so swollen for the last couple of weeks! I haven't worn my rings in months but my feet just started swelling up so quickly a couple of weeks ago. I can only wear one pair of flip flops and my tennis shoes. Any other shoe literally cuts into my feet. It has been awful. I have found a solution though! I made a big pitcher of cucumber mint water and have been drinking it all day long for 3 days and my swelling is almost non existent. We have boo coos of cucumbers right now from our garden and fresh mint in my herb garden so I can make it easily. It is so yummy and refreshing. The cucumber changes the flavor slightly and the mint gives you a cool blast. It really helps me to drink enough water. I went from drinking a can of sparkling water and 3-4 glasses of water each day to drinking 8-10 glasses of water and a can of sparkling water. All that hydration is really helping me. I'm excited to have found a little relief!

33 weeks

I have not been as good at keeping up with this blog as I was when I was pregnant with Ella! I guess the biggest difference is I now have her to look after. I also don't have internet at my house...I know it's crazy but I don't need to be on the internet any more than I already am! Anyway, I am 33 weeks today and I absolutely cannot believe my due date is just 7 weeks away. When I was pregnant with Ella, time practically stood still. It could not have gone slower. This time I feel like I just found out I was pregnant yesterday! I have been having a lot of mixed emotions about the arrival of the baby. Of course I am excited and want to meet my baby girl,but I am a little sad that my pregnancy is coming to an end.

Things I love about being pregnant:
1. I don't have to suck in my stomach 24/7.
2. I can rest a bowl, plate, or cup on my stomach while eating or drinking.
3. Feeling (and watching) the baby move inside of me is the most incredible and surreal experience.
4. People will give me their seat anywhere I go and I don't feel bad about taking it.
5. People will help me do just about anything.

Even though pregnancy can be very sweet, it has its downside too. Lately I have really REALLY been feeling that downside! My ankles are ridiculously and massively swollen every day and hurt like crazy. It's seriously like walking on needles. My hands are also quite swollen and painful. I haven't been able to wear my rings in a long time....yes I'm still happily married. :) I have raging heartburn. I sleep with a bottle of TUMS on my nightstand and wake up frequently to eat them. I have gained 22 pounds up to this point and feel like a whale. My face is broken out like a teenager. blah blah blah

The baby's behavior is, so far, very different from Ella's. Ella would kick, squirm, stretch, and literally do flips in my stomach. She never stopped moving and hasn't stopped since! This baby stretches a little (which is beginning to hurt) and mainly wiggles into another position and then is still again. Every time she starts moving and I tell someone to come feel her, she is done moving by the time they get there. She's pretty relaxed. I really hope her behavior outside of the womb reflects this behavior. I am so hopeful that this baby is calm and sleeps a bit. Ella has never slept well in her 3 and a half years on this Earth and I'm not sure I could survive another baby like her, especially since I am a working mom this time around. I guess I won't have a choice though!

24 weeks

I had my monthly appointment a few days ago and had to do my glucose screening. I found out yesterday that my numbers were elevated and that I will have to take the three hour test. I was at a 157 when I should be less than 130. I'm bummed. I've worked so hard not to have to take off any more work this school year for appointments and now I'm going to have to take another half day off. ugh. As if 6 weeks off when the baby arrives isn't enough...I'm bitter, can you tell?!

I learned that I have only gained 5 pounds thus far and my doctor says I need to be eating more. I gained 40 pounds with Ella, mostly in the third trimester so I'm not really trying to gain weight! I'm just eating as normally and healthfully as possible. Trust me, I've never had a problem eating!

We still don't have a name for our sweet little baby girl. Tyler is extremely picky. If it were up to me, it would be done by now! I have a list of about 7 or 8 names and I look at names constantly but no more are really jumping out at me. I think I'm at a standstill so Tyler's going to have to pick from my list since he won't make his own!


In other news... Ella and Tyler caught a lizard to put in her dry aquarium. She's been dying to put something in there since our landlord gave it to her. Tyler commented to Ella that the lizard was fat and looked like she was about to lay some eggs. He put her in the aquarium and Ella says, "Oh! There's an egg." Tyler was skeptical but turned to look anyway. Lo and behold, the lizard was laying eggs! She laid three right there in front of them and buried them. I think it is so cool that Ella got to see that and will maybe get to see some little baby lizards hatch! I might have more lizards than I know what to do with!

With end of the year things at school I have been super busy, not getting home until 7 or so most nights. I am excited for summer! I will be volunteering in San Saba and Cherokee for Vacation Bible School the first two weeks of June. This will be Ella's first year to participate. I'm excited for her. After that, I suppose I will start working on reorganizing my classroom and getting lesson plans together for next school year so that things can go smoothly while I'm on maternity leave. We just stay busy around here!

Ultrasounds!

On Tuesday we had our anatomy scan ultrasound at the llano hospital. I thought I might die if they didn't let me to to the bathroom. They made me drink 32 oz of water and hold my bladder and it was just absolute torture and pain. I didn't do this with Ella so I didn't realize how terrible it would be! The baby was measuring at 20 weeks 2 days which was 2 days ahead...right on track. She didn't discuss much of the ultrasound results with me but said my doctor would talk more about it at my next appointment. She was able to tell me that we are having a GIRL! Another sweet little sassy beautiful princess! We are all very excited in the Owen household. Ella is the most excited. She can't contain her smiles!

Today I met with my dr to discuss the anatomy scan and do a follow up ultrasound. I was excited to see my baby girl today. She was in perfect position to get some great pictures. On Tuesday she was curled up in a ball snuggled up to my placenta so she was difficult to see. We were able to see her wave a few times, got some shots of her face and a very good view of her profile. In her profile picture she has her hand in her mouth. Ella thought it was very cool to see her sister waving at us! The doctor says everything is going well. I'm progressing well as is the baby. He did tell me to stop picking Ella up because it can cause preterm labor .  That will be difficult but Ella needs to start walking more and being more independent with the new baby coming anyway. The baby's heartbeat was at 160 bpm today. My bp was a little on the low side of average. I gained 3 pounds in the last 5 weeks which is the first time I've actually gained anything. I feel like that part is going well. I am so excited about my baby girl. It's finally becoming real that our family is growing and that in 4 short months we will be snuggling with a precious baby girl!

Ella-isms

I love sharing things that Ella comes up with. She is very funny and super smart. She makes me laugh all the time and I want to share the love!

"I don't need a jacket outside. Cowgirls don't get cold."




Ella: Mom, who will be my prince's true love?
Me: I don't know.
Ella: Me! I'm his true love!
Me: Who is your prince?
Ella: I haven't found him yet. He will be the tallest one in the kingdom!




"I'm going to be a step-mom when I grow up."




"Mom, your hair looks weird today. Look at me. Yep, weird."




Mimi: Ella, is your mommy's tummy getting big?
Ella: Mimi! Don't say that. You're not supposed to say that. (She was remembering that I told her telling someone they're fat is not nice.)



More to come another day!

Reunited and it feels so good!

I rediscovered coffee today, people! Rejoice! I have always loved coffee up until I got pregnant this time. At first it was because I couldn't have caffeine so I decided to buy some decaf. It just wasn't the same. Then I began having food/drink aversions and couldn't stand the taste of coffee. I took a break from it for awhile but had a craving this morning. I brewed myself some decaf and it is delicious. I don't think there is anything more relaxing than coffee. I know it's supposed to give you energy but I don't drink enough of it to feel that side effect. I just love the feeling of that warm liquid sliding down my throat. So yummy. Here's to many more mornings that begin with COFFEE!

Blogging it up again!

Hellooooo everyone! It's been awhile! It's been so long since my last post, I'm not even sure where to start. I guess I'll begin with me. I finally landed my dream job as an elementary language arts teacher. I teach grades 3-5 in Cherokee. Our classes are very small so there are only about 10 kids per grade level. I am finishing up my second school year here as we speak. I absolutely love it. The kids are great and I get along so well with the teachers on my team.

The other members of my family are doing great as well. Tyler is working for North San Saba Water Services. He likes it most of the time but he complains a bit when there's a massive water leak and it's 30 degrees outside...I probably would too:) Ella is growing like crazy! She is 3 years old and is the sassiest, smartest, most beautiful girl in the world! She is very challenging as she has been since day one. She has yet to sleep through the night in her 3 years of life and now gets out of her bed in the middle of the night (every SINGLE night) and crawls in bed with us. She is a little genius and it sometimes makes me nervous! Her favorite activities are drawing, coloring, and riding her 4 wheeler. She also loves loves LOVES movies...her current favorites that we watch over and over are Little Mermaid and Frozen. She weighs in at 32 pounds and is 39 inches tall.

Ok, now back to me:) I am 19 weeks pregnant with our second child and I am due on August 26. We are so very excited about our new little addition. Ella is ready to be a big sister. She kisses and hugs my belly and likes to sing to the baby as well as give the baby "zerberts." She asks me almost daily when the baby is coming out. Even though my due date is the second day of school, I know everything will work out fine. It will be challenging not being in school the first few weeks but my students are resilient and understanding. With all the technology out there, I'm sure I can make videos, skype, etc. and make my absence count.

My pregnancy is going well. I have to say it is going very differently that my first pregnancy went. I was so sick with Ella all day every day for so long. The fatigue and pregnancy blues really took a toll on me. This time, I have tons of energy and have only gotten sick a few times. Between 10 and 15 weeks was the worst. I would throw up 2-3 times a week but it was only at night. And it would leave me as soon as it came on. Since then though, I have been feeling great. My belly is really growing. I was a little nervous about my belly growth at first because I started showing so much sooner than I did with Ella but now it's evened out a little and I'm about the same size that I was with her. I began feeling the baby move about 2 weeks ago and am noticing a movement pattern now. The baby moves around lunch time and again around 8-9 PM. We will find out the gender of the baby on Tuesday, just 6 days away! Can't wait!