I got 99 problems, and sleep is 98 of 'em....

I am really struggling right now with sleep or the lack there of. Jaxon was a great sleeper at first. By ten weeks old he was sleeping 8 hour stretches...sometimes longer! Then in November he got sick with a cold that he couldn't shake for weeks. It totally disrupted his sleep patterns and he began waking every two hours. As soon as he got over the cold, he started teething and so the problems persisted. Now he is habitually waking as he wakes the same times every night. He goes down between 6 and 7, wakes at 1030, 1230, 230, 430. It's killing me. I'm not getting more than an hour of sleep at a time. My patience is wearing thin. My body is tired. My eyes burn all day. I can't complete tasks at home. I forget things almost immediately.  All I think about is sleeping!

For the last two weeks I've been trying to do modified cry it out to eliminate one wake up at a time. I go in after 5-10 minutes and calm him without picking him up and then leave. The first week it seemed to be working. He even slept from 11-4 one night. It was amazing!!!!! But this week we are back to waking up every 1-2 hours. Right now at 2:30 AM I am nursing a baby who has been awake since 12:30. I give up. I just want to cry. 

Everything in my body is screaming, "I can't do this anymore!" But then I have the frightening realization that I have no choice. I am this baby's mother. 

I have nothing positive to say in this post which is hard because I usually find ways to lift myself up through my writing. I'm just so tired that I feel like I might die and there's no good in that. I love my baby though. He's really cute and so sweet. Ahh there it is...❤️