Epiphany!

I have come to the realization that God has given me the gift of words yet I have remained silent. This is no way to glorify Him! I have prayed about this for a long time...prayed for a way to make my daughter's death matter. I have prayed for a way to help others in similar situations and have discovered that I have had it inside of me all along...my gift of words. 

In church the last few weeks we have been talking about the story of the great flood and Noah's ark. It is a story that I have heard a million times and have shared with my daughter as well. It's such a kid friendly bible story but I now see it in a different light. Noah's story is a story of faith and trust in the Lord. He trusted in the Lord when everyone thought he was crazy. He trusted in the Lord as he worked hard to build the massive boat. He trusted the Lord when it took over 100 years for God's word to come to fruition. Now that is trust! 

As I have weathered through my storm for the last 7 months, I have chosen to trust the Lord. I have leaned on Him. I have followed Him. I have sought out comfort in the Bible. I have asked for help through prayer. And guess what...it works! Am I healed? No. I don't think I will ever be healed. But God has made it possible for me to keep living, keep breathing, keep going. He has helped me be a good wife to my husband. He has helped me be a loving mother. I could not get through this storm without God. 

I have faith that God has a plan for me and I pray that I will continue to trust Him and follow that path. Trusting God is hard! It seems so simple in theory but when you go through something hard it is easy to blame God. I don't think it's "God's fault" that Daisy died. I think there is a bigger plan and this is a part of that plan. 

In my struggle to understand why this happened, I have found that there are several reasons:

1. God wants me to build my character. Without hard times we cannot grow!

2. I want to spread awareness for vasa praevia and infant loss.

3. I want to spread the gospel by example.

4. I have become more compassionate.

I will expand on each of these throughout my blogging journey and I hope that people read it and draw strength from it. Please share if you know someone who would benefit from my story.

Romans 5:3-5

We can rejoice too when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us--they help us learn to endure. And endurance develops strength of character in us, and character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation. And this expectation will not disappoint us. For we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love.

#vasaprevia
#vasapraevia
#vasapreviaawareness
#stillbirth
#infantloss
#christianity